First thing’s first: I’ve got to get something off my chest.
I don’t like porn. I just don’t. Not only do I not enjoy it, but I strongly believe that most of these films exploit women and their bodies, strictly for men’s pleasure. If I wanted to be put in “the male gaze”, I would pick any horror movie, starting from the good old German Expressionistic era.
Besides, what do I get from porn? Satisfaction? Hardly. Learning experience? I wish. Nowadays, pop culture and the porn industry often teach young, inexperienced women how to objectify themselves and seek approval on their sexual behaviour from men. What about our desires and pleasure, huh?
Also, a little note to the guys who expect the ridiculous porn narrative to come to life at all times. Quoting Anna Farris: “Maybe you’ve been watching too much porn if you’re expecting her to sound like a dying hyena.”
A while ago, a friend of mine sent me a video of the lovely Emma Watson interviewing Gloria Steinem. Naturally, as a die-hard fan of Ms Steinem, I pressed play and devoted myself to her brilliance once again. And yet, at one point of the video, it was Emma that said something that had me glued to the screen even more. She brought up a website that she had recently discovered called OMGYes—a complete study of female sexuality and pleasure. As you’ve probably guessed, I stopped the video and started doing my research.
“Ninety one percent of women say the best lovers take time to learn what their partners preferences are.”
Lydia Daniller and Rob Perkins, long time friends from college, after learning how little analysis had been done on the topic of women’s sexual pleasure, felt compelled to take the matters into their own hands (pun intended) and conduct large-scale research on various methods of masturbation and sensual indulgence. After surveying more than 2,000 women from the ages of 18 to 95, they managed to create a website where real women shared insights on their sexual journey and demonstrated their most efficient techniques. As reported by the website’s group of researchers, 91% of women say the best lovers take time to learn what their partners preferences are. Therefore, OMGYes‘ main goal is to help couples improve their communication skills and encourage them to delve into new ways of achieving pleasure. Plus, it strengthens the belief that there is no shame in women exploring their sexuality and bodies.
Don’t be indignant at the website being a one time paid subscription-you can learn more from this than you would ever find out from sex ed or porn. Think of it as your favourite book, that you can always come back to. The outlook of the website’s interface is very neat and clear, and you certainly wouldn’t be looking at the door every 5 minutes, in fear of your noisy mum or aunt coming into your room. The initial design doesn’t scream NSFW content at all.
After purchasing the subscription, you get access to 12 episodes, including: Edging, Rhythm, Surprise, Multiples. In those episodes there are 50 videos featuring fabulous participants talking about which approach works for them and how to successfully recreate their movements. In one of the videos, a participant of the OMGYes project, Sidney, says “Orgasms are like ice-cream. There are lots of different flavours.” My simple interpretation is that every woman is different; we all prefer a different method and a woman’s partner should respect her wishes. A simple, lazy stroking of the clit for five seconds won’t do the trick, for example.
So basically, in the clips, we get massive close-ups of the participants’ vulvas which to be honest, caught me a little off guard at first. I almost felt like I was intruding on somebody’s privacy but then, suddenly, it hit me like a ton of dicks (too far?). The goal is to help me, and others, in enhancing pleasure. We are all each other’s allies. I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable and neither should you.
If you thought that was it, you couldn’t be more wrong. Every episode has explicit, touchable videos which remind me of interactive video-games. You can touch certain parts of the vulva, learning various clit stimulation techniques by mimicking the aforementioned tutorials. With one click of the mouse or swipe of the finger (if using a phone or tablet), the flesh moves and the labia exposes. Gradually, you see how those movements build toward an orgasm. And while doing that, you get actual audio feedback with sounds and moans…Yes you heard me. While massaging the cyber-lady parts, you hear “Mmm yes, nope a little higher, mm-hmm just like that, oops I don’t like my clit being touched.”
(Note from the editor: it did strike me that, whilst this is excellent for ciswomen exploring their bodies, the site isn’t particularly trans inclusive. OMGYes have addressed this however, saying that they hope to be more trans inclusive in their next season - let’s hope they stick to their word!)
Taking all of this into consideration you might think you’re all good to go but wait for just a second. The last chapter is the most crucial piece of the puzzle and it is called “Signaling”. It is centered around the act of giving and receiving feedback.
The site explains that you need to let your partner know when you are not entirely satisfied with sex. Don’t worry about hurting anyone’s ego when it is your pleasure that is at stake. There are different methods of informing your partner on how to get you to cum. The truth is, it is all about guiding each other and finding the perfect recipe. Teach them how to stimulate your clitoris. Have no fear of killing the mood.
“Don’t worry about hurting anyone’s ego when it is your pleasure that is at stake.”
You might even share the OMGYes website with them, and learn something together! Otherwise, the disappointment of not climaxing is going to feel like going out with friends thinking you will see Kate Nash in concert but ending up getting a Robin Thicke impersonator, instead. The only thing left to do is roll over, on the other side of the bed, and play dead.
Obviously, OMGYes should be taken with a grain of salt, since not every technique will work on everyone and not every woman is capable of reaching an orgasm. And that’s okay!
But there are tons of clips and tutorials which will encourage you to explore your anatomy in ways that you never dreamed of exploring. Who knew only a slight change of an angle could give you an OMG moment? The concept of the website itself is revolutionary and its detailed research is one of the reasons why enhancement of female pleasure will not be considered a taboo topic anymore. Or at least I hope that happens. Fingers f**king crossed.
The Nopebook would like to thank OMGYes for access to its services.
