Great British Bake Off fans have been on the edge of their stools since the announcement that the nation’s favourite show about cakes and innuendo was moving to Channel 4, and wouldn’t be taking Mary Berry, Sue Perkins or Mel Giedroyc with it. There was an incredible amount of pressure on not just the contestants, but the show as a whole to perform… and you know what? I think it did.

I didn’t give myself the best start to be honest, as I ignorantly decided to watch some vintage IT Crowd to fill in the time before 8pm….

Deciding to watch vintage IT Crowd ahead of tonight’s #GBBO was probably not the best idea we’ve ever had… pic.twitter.com/BUGoWvBatY

— Becki Jayne Crossley (@literarypanckes) August 29, 2026

… but you’ll be glad to hear that I prevailed, and only ten seconds in I was laughing at Sandi’s mock call to ex-host Sue, as she and Noel floated obliviously above the GBBO tent in a hot air balloon. Richmond was quickly forgotten, and I feel like an immediate nod to the fact that this is the first episode in a new era of Bake Off was a good decision, just to address the fondant elephant in the room.

Stylistically, nothing has changed – and why mess with perfection? The jovial theme music, the sketch previews of bakes in progress, the toddler in the opening credits scoffing cake… even Prue’s Mary Berry English accent made the whole transition less jarring. In fact, the first time you really notice that things are not quite as they were is when Noel starts earnestly narrating the baking time of a fruity cake and having an intense conversation with Julia about courgettes, and it just feels a little bit weird.

Signature Challenge – Fruity Cake

Throughout the signature bake, there are comforting moments that remind us that this is still all-in-all the GBBO we know and love. Contestants are still helping each other out, whether that be lending a sieve or letting someone know they’ve forgotten to turn their oven on. There are the tense shots of bakers wiping their face dejectedly on an apron or gazing mournfully out of the tent at the rain. There’s even a SOGGY BOTTOM (although it’s not referred to as such, despite it being one of the soggiest bottoms I’ve seen). But there is still a reassuring amount of innuendo going on (“elsewhere in the tent, some squeezing is going on”), despite the sad lack of soggy bottom commentary.

Before the judging of the signature we have our first ever GBBO ad break, which is 90% baking themed. I amuse myself for a moment imagining a Hunger Games-style showdown between Dr. Oetker and Mr Kipling for the sponsorship spot.

The judging for this round is swift and at times brutal – Prue sniffs at the marigold on Kate’s cake, saying “no one’s going to eat a flower”. Noel promptly eats the marigold and reminds us all that we do love him, really.

Steven’s bonfire toffee-apple cake is the first to truly impress the judges, winning him the first coveted Hollywood Handshake of the season… and Paul is feeling generous, as Sophie also wins a handshake for her pineapple cake. I’m going to say that Sophie’s was more deserved though, because I drew her in the sweepstake at work so I need to show my support.

Technical Challenge – Chocolate Roll

We move into the technical challenge now, and the baker’s dozen (wait…) are instructed to make a chocolate roll, with peppermint buttercream in a perfect swirl and an exposed bottom (heh heh heh). We’re treated to some classic Bake Off shots of contestants nervously glancing round the tent and changing their techniques as they overhear other bakers narrating their process to the camera. Noel comes through for the whole of the UK by offering to expose his bottom to the judges. I’m calling it; he can stay.

There’s a shaky moment that, given recent coverage of a ‘healthy’ Bake Off, we’ve all been worrying about when Sandi comments that her “hips are expanding” after tasting some of Chris’s chocolate. She’s even given an easy out when he asks, “is that a good thing?” She responds: “it’s a thing”. We all stuff the cake we bought specifically to eat while watching GBBO into our faces in defiance. We are not here for calorie counting, thank you.

It’s Kate that emerges triumphant as winner of the technical round, with her perfectly baked, swirled and exposed-bottom chocolate rolls. Everyone claps and we all get that lovely warm feeling inside – they really do look pleased for her. I’m even learning to see the bright side of it being on Channel 4, as we don’t have to pray for a historical segment where we can pop to the loo.

Signature Challenge – Illusion Cake

Noel announces the ‘illusion cake’ showstopper challenge and it’s honestly the most Noel Fielding he’s looked all episode. The contestants are challenged to bake a cake that doesn’t look like a cake, at which point I think I’d have just gone home, but these guys are clearly made of tougher stuff. The level of ambition for week one is genuinely impressive – I say ‘wow’ without irony more than once this challenge.

Flo announces that her cake will be made to look like a watermelon, inspired by a cocktail that her husband really liked on holiday called ‘One in a Melon’, and I vote that we crown her now. Noel says he’s looking forward to Stacey’s “moist clutch”, saving us all once more from an innuendo desert. Peter and Kate are both playing with molten sugar, and my heart breaks along with Peter’s sugar knife as Noel leans over his shoulder to say that it’s all going to be okay. My gal Sophie has accidentally made a chocolate penis and I’m suddenly very grateful I pulled her from the sweepstake hat. Yan is busting out some Actual Science while creating her ‘bananaramen’ cake and can I declare her joint pre-winner along with Flo?

After Noel declares that “time is not an illusion” (sounding more like he’s sharing a recent personal discovery rather than warning the bakers that their time is nearly up), the showstopper challenge ends with high fives, a few hugs, some heavy sighs and a couple of intense frowny faces.

Judgement time now, and we’re off to a good start as Paul straight up declares his love for Flo as she presents her awesome melon cake. Tom’s books are underwhelming and Sophie’s champagne is ironically a little dry. Stacey’s clutch bag cake has sadly turned out looking like a turd, although apparently it tastes nice, so there you go. Liam’s frankly incredible pancake cake completely blows Prue away, and she invites herself round for breakfast and even gives it an awkward mini-clap. Will the Leith Clap come to rival the Hollywood Handshake? Only time will tell (although based on lack of alliteration alone I’m saying no).

The judges and presenters gather round a table full of cake to discuss the mertis of each baker, and Noel offers to leave instead, gives Sandi a kiss and walks off screen. We all worry for a moment that it’s real and we’re going to be left with Sandi commenting on calories and hips for the rest of the series.

Amongst a truly impressive range of bakes this episode, it’s Steven with his handshake and his convincing sandwich cake that wins the title of first Star Baker. He has a little cry and calls his mum, good old Steven. Sadly we say goodbye to Peter, who had the nicest smile, and says of the experience that it was a “pleasure to meet everyone”. Sob.

Next week, biscuits, and it looks like Julia’s impression of a cake mixer is going to be a recurring theme…

-

Images via @BritishBakeOff

Liked it? Take a second to support The Nopebook on Patreon!